Like you do, we were sitting around after dinner, trying to get the cat to get off the draining board, and the conversation turned to what a tourist cat phrase book might look like. We thought it might include the following phrases:
Please lick my bottom.
Please desist from licking my bottom.
Please provide a small piece of paper. I wish to sit down.
I have eaten some grass and am going to vomit.
This cream is cold. Please warm it for me.
Are the prawns organic?
I have been injured in a brawl. Kindly send for a veterinary surgeon.
No thank you, I do not take medicines orally.
Please feel free to add more.